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Dear Ross and Seduction brothers,
From talking with the awesome brothers in
the Boston area it became obvious from their comments that the only way
to get better at walk-ups is to do a lot of them. So Eric suggested
this approach, which worked very well: choose a number of walk-ups to
do, and go with the EXPECTATION of getting shot down.
That's somewhat paradoxical but that's what
makes it work. So I set my goal at a 100. I've already done 50, and
this is the half-time report.
It's been FANTASTIC (aside from getting
enthusiastic phone numbers from women who even have boyfriends and very
positive responses). Going with the expectation of let me get another
one on my list makes things a WHOLE LOT easier. There's no hurt, no
rejection, it's just another notch. "Here goes number 33."
INSTEAD of going with the goal of I am going
to get this many phone numbers, and feeling good/bad depending on the
outcome, go with the goal I'm just going to have fun getting shot down
this many times and learning. Then, it's piece of cake to learn.
SET a concrete number of approaches you
want, and do it. You WILL be successful at doing that.
Basically, now, I feel comfortable
approaching almost any woman under any condition (the train, a coffee
shop, etc.). It really is a LEAP from where I was before.
My state is infinitely more solid... and
while I can get better with very attractive women, I lead with much
greater ease, I deal with most objections right away, and I'm able to
instill comfort/ease/trust almost instantaneously.
I can only imagine what will happen when I
get to 100. But I'm not worried about that... I just need to get 50
more under my belt.
(Techniques That Helped Him Do It!)
Now here're a few techniques you may want to
use: Talking with other SSers: I cannot say enough about this. The
Boston team is great, and posting/reading up people's SS postings while
doing the above is both encouraging as well as enlightening. I just
want to thank the thoughtful people who post quality emails ... some of
us really appreciate it.
Self-reward and -analysis: Always pat
yourself in the back after making an approach or every few approaches.
It works. It sounds funny but you feel better when you tell yourself
'good job' and give yourself a pat in the back.
Every say 5 approaches analyze what you
did... think how you could have done it concretely better... and replay
in your mind how you'd have done it. DON'T analyze every time, do it
every say 5 times.
Women are random and if you analyze it each
time you'll NOT see the real pattern. No pun intended. :) But the
exercise (AGAIN) is not to get better, although you naturally will, but
just to get across the X number of getting shot-down.
Fear of failure and safety: Early on I sat
down and asked myself what in the world was holding me back from
approaching beautiful (physically, intellectually, spiritually) women
and making their lives sheer beauty, wonder, delight... and I
realized... it was just a simple fear of failing.
What if I make a fool out of myself? What if
I fall on my face? What if I just annoy her? Being someone who's
successful at a lot of things he's tried in life this was a BIG one.
But then after some thought I realized it
was a paradox. THE BIGGEST FAILURE IS TO FEAR FAILURE. If you fear
failure, then you're GUARANTEED to fail every time.
Think about it. Think about this for long
enough and it'll BLOW your mind AND any fear of failure you have out of
the water. DRILL on any such feelings with this paradox.
If you fear failure, YOU WILL FAIL EACH AND
EVERY TIME. It's a complete guarantee. So THAT FEAR IS ITSELF the
BIGGEST FAILURE.
Secondly, often we want to be 'safe.' But
usually, safe from what?? Safe from success, safe from learning how to
move women in ways that may astonish us. Do you want to be safe from
success? Really? Think about your whole life ... do you want to be safe
repeating that SAME pattern?
If these are issues for you, I'd try
meditate on these two ideas, after some breathing exercises, and you
may find, like I did, that meditation affecting your whole life
timeline, going to the deepest crevices of your being, and you will be
decontaminated from those thoughts in a couple hours or days.
Don't be surprised to see your whole
physiology changing. This is not just pattern language... my whole body
felt it. Use the titanium drill of the paradoxes to destroy those
filthy mental microbes.
Best regards,
Stephen/Angelo
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